If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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