dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
