All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
