Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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