you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sext me about skeletons
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize