If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize