she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just cropdusted the office
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
