Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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