I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
