she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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