My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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