Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize