I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do vagina's smell?
Hippo gnu deer
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
