Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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