with your own penis?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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