you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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