how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
