Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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