I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
