Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's rum buckets o'clock
Is her dick bigger than yours?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
