this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
