She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
