is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
