enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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