I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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