names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
