I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
