She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
