i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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