Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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