he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
