I cockslap morals
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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