and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We got so high we made milksteak
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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