not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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