we have pet lesbian snakes
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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