Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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