On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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