his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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