Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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