I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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