She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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