Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
