She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
