She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just invented taco cereal.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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