More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
