so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
