why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
