i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
