Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
