I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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