Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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