Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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