good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
