No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
