Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
