I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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