i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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