where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
