At least make sure they are 18
Why
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
