The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
