watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize