I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
