I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
we should paint friendship bongs
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