im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
