Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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