I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
